“Advertise Freely to Your True Tribe, Forever!"
Your Real Customers are Right Next Door!
Hey brands, influencers and MMJ mavens, masking and muting your weed posts on Big Social? Dodging shadow bans?
And Dispensary Owners! Tired of playing ‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’ on Weedmaps’ cluttered map of illusions? Let’s be real—Weedmaps may boast ‘millions of users,’ but those millions aren’t flying, driving, or teleporting cross-country to your shop. Nope, it’s Local Larry and Downtown Debbie who are ringing up those sales, not some mythical cannabis tourist! And guess what? Behind the curtain, Weedmaps is stashing away all your precious data: location, contact details, real reviews and feedback – the whole shebang. And if that wasn’t cheeky enough, they’re also parading a bunch of old, stale listings to make you feel like your local competition is tighter than a pair of 80’s jeans. They’re playing tricks to get you to dish out more cash for that ‘premium’ spot. Shenanigans, we say! So why not be the hometown hero and legend of your own zip code? Ditch the smoke and mirrors, reclaim your data, and write your own blockbuster story—starring you, directed by you, and premiering in a neighborhood near you!”
POINTS TO PONDER
- Data Drama: Imagine hosting a party and someone else keeps the guest list, knows all the gossip, and eats all the dip. That's you on big social platforms. Who's profiting? Hint: Not you!
- Shadow Bans & Sudden Goodbyes: Big social media's mood swings could shadow ban you faster than a magician's disappearing act. One day you're in, the next day you're out—just like last season's fashion.
- Pawn Stars: Feeling like a bit-part actor in Weedmaps' epic saga of 'Who Gets the Biggest Pin?' They're the directors, you're the extras. Want a bigger role? You'll need to pay up, pal.
- The Ghost Town Trick: Weedmaps is like that old funhouse mirror, distorting reality with stale listings. They want you to think you're in a crowded marketplace. Spoiler: half those shops are as extinct as the dodo!
- Blind Leading the Blind: Flying without a map is risky. Flying with a map owned by Weedmaps? That's piloting your business in a fog of mystery and misdirection.
- Be Your Own DJ: Imagine a social platform where you control the playlist, the volume, and the dance moves. Send free specials and deals to your fanbase without paying the piper. No more cover charge!
- Local Legend Status: Why be a face in the crowd when you can be the Beyoncé of your own stage? It's time for your brand to drop the mic and own the local scene.
- Captain of Your Ship: Don't be a deckhand on someone else's vessel. Grab the wheel, chart your course, and sail towards your own cannabis empire. Your treasure map should start and end with you.
- Engage & Shine: No clickbaits! No outdated billboard and paid ads tactics. Deliver content and promos your customers will love and engage with.
- Your Turf, Your Terms: Your space, your rules: Zero-cost ads & zip-targeted promos.
- Connect & Conquer: Build real-time connections; understand the hearts behind each purchase.
- From Friend to Trend: "Dude, this is lit!" folks trust the buzz of a pal over the noise of a brand.
- Heartbeats Over Hashtags: Connect in real-time. Feel the pulse, catch the rhythm of every buy.
The Stage Is Set: YOUR OWN SOCIAL PLATFORM. Think About It!